I just read in the news about a woman in California who has been arrested for causing lethal harm to her children. The children’s ages ranged from 2 months to 3 years.
I am writing about this because I am feeling so strongly right now. I want to share my voice with anyone else who is feeling so so so lucky that they avoided her fate.
The last line in the article I read was this:
“The children’s grandmother said that the woman had called earlier in the day and said that she was going crazy.”
She was begging for help! She knew she wasn’t okay!
Can we please just learn from this that if a mother ever tells you that she is ‘really going crazy’, please believe her! Please don’t force her to be alone with herself or her children when she doesn’t feel safe. Just show up.
You will never understand the power of bringing some comfort and compassion to a suffering mother.
The mental chaos that I experienced in the postpartum period was the most terrifying thing I’ve ever been through.
I learned that there is something else to fear other than fear itself. I feared myself. I can think of nothing worse than knowing that your greatest fear is yourself… and knowing that fear is real.
No one should ever have to be alone with that.
I shudder to think of where I could have gone if I had been left alone or shamed when I had asked for help. And I did ask for help, over and over again. There could never be enough help.
For everyone who knows me and was there (if you are reading this, it means you were there), Thank you. I love you very much. I may not tell you this often enough because it scares me, but you saved my life.