Fighting for control

It is very traumatic to lose your mind…but it can also be really fun.

Recognizing that losing your mind, no matter how fun it seems, is hurting those around you is a process. Committing to do whatever it takes to keep control of your mind is also a process. The kind of process that involves lots of clawing out of mud and falling back into it and climbing up again until you are black and blue and your knuckles are bloody from fighting so hard.

For me, this involves dealing with side effects of intense medications, therapy, psychiatrist visits, avoiding over stimulating environments, avoiding caffeine, getting 10 hours of sleep, exercise, limiting work, being constantly on alert and basically structuring my life to cater to the needs of my ‘fragile little mind’.

I think that for some people, keeping control of their mind means struggling against addictions to mind altering substances.

So, when I see recent videos of the mayor of Toronto ranting and raging in a manic high (drug induced), it is really hard to have to watch him deny over and over that it’s a problem. I have worked hard to learn how damaging this behaviour is (and will always be fighting to overcome it). To have to watch a politician ‘get away’ with this and not even be fired from his job is very painful. 

This struggle is not something that is easy to continue. Mayor Ford and others who claim  publicly that this out of control behaviour is reasonable, are doing a deep disservice to anyone who is struggling with understanding the serious implications of their similar actions. 

Hugs if you understand what I’m talking about.

camusquote

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