my mother has cancer.
i haven’t seen her for 6 months.
she has had 9 chemo treatments.
she has had surgery.
she is losing her hair.
she lost her eyelashes.
she bought a wig.
my vain mother who never left the house without makeup.
my vain mother who kept me young so that she would never age.
now she is aging too quickly.
i was so sick.
i had babies.
she abandoned me.
she abandoned them.
she doesn’t even understand.
i was more sick than she is.
65 year old woman with stage 3b colon cancer
60% survival rate
30 year old woman with bipolar ii
60% survival rate and 25 year reduced life expectancy.
cancer can be cured.
my life can only be managed.
everyday i manage
i pay the price.
i pay every day for her mistakes.
i am so angry.
she hurt me.
she hurt my family.
i try to stop wanting an apology-
for her to recognize my pain.
i try to let the anger go.
it shouldn’t have to be like this.
*as always, all statistics have been verified by dr. google.