Tomorrow is my 30th birthday. I’m totally freaked out. I’m dreading it.
It isn’t helping that tomorrow is also Yom Kippur, a day that I am dreading for other reasons.
30 years. 30 years? 30 years!
That sounds like a really really long time. Am I where I wanted to be? Actually, sort of yes. But it feels different. Am I done growing? Not even close.
If I could summarize how it feels to turn 30 with all this crazy in my head, I would say that I feel as tired as an 80 year old and as clueless as a 3 year old.
I think that for my 30th birthday, it would be good if I could start to come to terms with being the real me, openly and honestly. I’ve been hiding a bit on my blog by not really putting up any photos. Also, I can’t stand to look at photos of myself these days.
So I’m going to try to face my fears and embrace my imperfections and muster the courage to post a photo of me. um….next year…